Wednesday , December 8 2021
Home / U-Turn / Just Tickling!

Just Tickling!

This article is exclusively intended to acknowledge and congratulate developments that took place while I had no idea they did. Please read each in its totality and do not dwell on the details. What I feel right now is no different than what the Seven Sleepers felt the day they woke up. Please help!

The prudent guy that I am, as you know, I hate to say this but you have procrastinated for too long when you know full well that nothing can set you free like the truth. A couple of years ago, if you still remember, we saw what happened and you played ostrich. I don’t blame you! Anyone who stated seeing anything was sentenced “deaf, dumb and blind”.  It was so real and so dipped in crocodile tears that all those who thought they had seen something (going very wrong), including your poor old friend here, doubted their eyes and decided it was the nightmare of life without “gogo”. So many people said the head isn’t on the shoulders. We checked. I am sure you did. Believe it or not – the head wasn’t there. We lost the day and they won.  The hypocrites that we are, we saw it fit to apologize. We took it a step further and wrote a pile of garbage here and there to say we were wrong all the way. And we were wrong! We went back to bed and they went back to lick. End of story.

The time wasn’t wasted though and a lot has happened in the interim. From what I hear, two National Congresses for Democratic Change were held in Ethiopia. Abul-Hol who has yet to say a word (about the weather conditions in Ethiopia) was installed. As far as I can recall, the aim of the congress was to achieve “democratic change”, i.e. change without excessive bloodshed and towards more democratic governance. That goal was as we all know achieved a 100% in the congress and it was arguably the most democratic change ever achieved. All it took was this: about 300 people gathered in Addis Ababa one day and said they wanted the Eritrean Democratic Alliance (EDA) that had ruled the Eritrean opposition for a long time out. The next year each brought another friend and 600 people came back to Ethiopia and the EDA was out of the game peacefully, democratically and without an incident. Well, not entirely without incident. There was a guy who took a couple of his guys and overran a Shawish-Station of one of the organizations in Mekele (who can forget Meqele-TsaEda?!) and stole a bunch of guns. I don’t think anyone was hurt.

To be entirely honest, it was the EDA that took the initiative (to commit suicide) and for cultural restrictions opted for euthanasia and decided to call the 600 people to pull the plug. There was also, of course, a European NGO known as the Eritrean People’s Democratic Party (EPDP) who had tried to put up a show insisting on a less ceremonial suicide for exit. But don’t get too excited. Nobody was hurt. I don’t know if I already broke this news to you. The organization has ever since concentrated on Uqub celebrations and gourmet foods. You may take a look at their “before and after” pictures and see for yourself what a fantastic job they have done. All those Jelfafat in Party T-Shirts, the ShaHmamat with long faces, and the MalaTat on Irish Butter reflecting flash-lights, that we used to see until 2010 are gone replaced by a much older but definitely cuter looking Uqub activists singing “Hush little baby – don’t say a word”. A tip of the hat to congratulate them for their 99th congress (Happy Birthday Parties) in just two years and hope they would at least leave the 100th for Asmara. Please! My mom has to be there for this one.

Of course this opportunity can never be complete without turning a sincere and meditative Indian “namaste!” to the only guy left of the Tadamun group for all the hard work and commitment. This poor guy (definitely a guy) – a hero by all means – never missed one single Eid (including Eid-Abi & Eid-N’uush), Mullid Al-Nabi (and that of every hawaryat), Tsebel (excluding Abune-Aregawi as we all know – and that due to the principled stand on the border issue), wedding anniversary and in some cases birthdays where he did not take the time to write the most heartfelt words to congratulate the Eritrean people on such dates of enormous implication. One particular French “salutations d’une chèvre”, to all the heroes (Abul-Bara’e, Abul-Hayfa’e, Abul-QaynuQa’e, and specifically Abu-Qureiza) in the Eritrean Islamic opposition movement (including everyone who has ever thought of nurturing a goatee for the sake of the Eritrean people), is well deserved in such a modest occasion of this page. They haven’t left a single rock unturned in finding ways, often under difficult circumstances, to embarrass all of us in almost every TV station in the Arab-Islamic world. Their genius has shown in numerous occasions and a typical pattern has emerged where one journalist after another would conspire and corner them to a point of “No Exit” into admitting or just implying from a distance that the PFDJ regime had ever, by way of accident, been unfair to any Muslim anywhere on this planet. They have brilliantly evaded the traps so far and have miraculously emerged victorious in convincing every journalist to the contrary.

My biggest congratulations should under normal conditions go to the Youth Movement – the absolute heroes and true descendants of Berhe Gomida and Tekhle Gerewingna – who after 10 years of one demonstration after another and after leaving so many mutilated and dead friends and peers in the painful ascendancy to heaven have managed to work wonders. To mention some (not all) of their heroic operations tickle YouTube for a mob of courageous young men who had almost captured Yemane Monkey (“alive!”) in New York and managed to escort him safely to his hotel. They deserve a statue next to Pushkin’s in Asmara. Imagine! Given the crime rates in the US, who knows what danger could have befallen the poor monkey on his way to the hotel. Ticklish again and here is the daring invasion of the Eritrean embassy in London by some (not all) of the most outspoken outlaws of the Youth Movement. Their care and responsibility in making sure that nothing, including the dust on their shoes would stain the carpets of the holy dump, was phenomenal. A picture of the President that had been hanging a little off the side on the wall was taken down. Being too heavy for the hero who removed it from the wall, the picture did turn upside down and another hero gently knocked the glass front of the picture with unbelievable dexterity and hand-eye coordination without even scratching a microscopic hole on the holy paper. Don’t be shocked now – no desecration was intended so just say: Bravo deqi Gudamat! And next time, if you are not going to “do something”, don’t even bother to come near Eritrean embassies anywhere on this planet. You should bow down (togombiHkum) and kiss the Ambassadors’ (I insist on the complimentary apostrophe) in each case (was it London, Italy?) for respectfully letting you in unhindered and to the best of their helpless capacity tried to put up with your cheap harassments. There is an unwritten code of ethics for a struggle and it doesn’t include sneaking into embassies like thieves to do “nothing”. Getskum tirHaq! Eritrean embassies are guarded by the sheer probability of gossip of a ghostly hand turning into reality – so watch out next time you walk in. Do you actually take what these mela’akhom zisenbede dhulat are doing to be “struggle”?

I have run out of words for the amazing masses (of “many people” each) who take the time to flood the streets of European cities in “massive demonstrations”, that as we can all feel (I mean literally) have shaken the boots out of the regime in Asmara. I have applied every iteration of the best phrases I can imagine on Google Translate (to other friendly languages), and they all come out as the equivalent of “Shame on You” (with exclamation and quotation marks – the “You” including myself – and that is the problem – because I have never been to one). Excuse my technical literacy! Most fascinating in these demonstrations is the number of people who take it upon themselves to organize the crowds in queues (rigatat) of “sine’srAt giber” and “Erum teQawmo” on the pavements and ensure that the peaceful nature of the Eritrean struggle for change is at worst bypassed only by the Gay Pride Parade. If there are any who revere “the Parade” among you, I do not in any way mean to diminish its significance for its followers. Of course we know the achievements of the latter in reviving the glory of the notorious “qawm’luT”. Please raise your hands with me in prayers to the heavens for these veterans of the struggle for “chains” and experts of “sine’srAt” and repeat with me “ab ries’khum yigberelkum” and add “Hasab lbkhum yesmrelkum” just to make sure they do not appear in the next demonstrations. Ask yourself – wouldn’t you rather be in an “adeytat” demonstration in Asmara singing “polyo maAarey – inquaE deHan metsa’ekaley”, than being mistaken for a docile in “the Parade”?

We all want to have fun watching what anyone would understand as “demonstrations” by people who look like they belong to a bleeding nation of horrors – people who can at least fake anger – at least when the cameras turn towards them or when they scream (with chewing gums) “pawn-pawn Isayas”. We want someone to come and ask us “why?” because we are actually doing something for a change from strolling like “jognanat” and window-shopping like “Awanat”. Did I say anger? There are actually those that are very happy to be there: women who plan on going back to the mall the next day to buy the beautiful dress they had seen during the excursions and uncles who would tell that Cowboy Hats were on-sale on ‘demonstration-avenue’. Now – don’t fake a surprised “when did they have the time to notice anything else in such important events?” It feels something like “afka msay libikha misdebesay”. I have done it myself and I am sure that is what you are contemplating right now! I don’t want you to take advantage of this confidential information on demonstration-shoppers to stash your pockets with shopping bags the next time you show up for demonstrations.  If you are going to treat this respectable article of mine as a flyer on shopping techniques, I think that’s where the “sine’srAt” guys should intervene.

The best case scenario for a more lively demonstration would be where the parents (and in our case the parents of the parents on crutches) would respect themselves and stay home while sending only the kids to demonstrate. You may want to stuff their bellies with high-powered candies and a few cans of Red Bull just before you let them loose. “Kids” in this case should be strictly defined to include less than (and not equal to) 18 years of age and this should be ascertained by making sure that demonstration participants undergo “teeth counting” tests. Given the excessive nationalism in us elders, some of us will knock off a few teeth to qualify and some (the “Hatsir Uluu” kind) will be mistaken for juveniles. In that case we have no other choice but to subject all participants to the blade in order to skin-head, baby-to-monkey, into equality from the behavioral inhibitions of aging. You will be surprised (sincerely this time) at how skin-heading makes one feel much younger than what people think them to be. For maximum impact, we need to guarantee supplies of accessories though. Can someone volunteer and ask the experienced organizational affairs mentioned above, if through their well known connections to the process of change from within (excluding Forto of course), they may spy on some smuggling routes for “likhay” or are they just using hydrogenated super cream for now?

Did I already congratulate the Islamic guys? I mean those who carry arms among them that we should not discount by any means. The PFDJ is actually right on this one. Coincidentally (and I feel terribly bad to say this – at least in public – and after squeezing myself a spot among the crowd of good citizens), every single man (and woman if you know any) actually carrying a gun (and actually using it) in opposition activity against the PFDJ regime is a Muslim or a non-Muslim Muslim (i.e. those you would call “aslamay” irrespective of their faith if they strayed in the highlands). I don’t want to stretch it more than it is fair to do so because this is a matter of pure incidence (one in a billion possible permutations of soldier-names) – most (if not all – and I say all) those who actually rode a tank and made it all the way to Forto on January 21, 2013 were (guess what – and take a good guess at this one – I don’t want to put words in your mouth) Muslims. Everyone who has been arrested in direct connection to what is now known as “Forto 2013” was a Muslim. Specifically in this particular incident (please excuse my statistical genius) Muslims, who make up 1% of the Eritrean army at the command level, made up 100% of action against the regime. Well may be not 100% but according to my formula of deliberate bias, any deviations were statistically insignificant. To say it in lay-man’s language, if you have seen any other names in those operational lists, they were those who took a joy-ride on the tanks (for free) or those who had no option but to follow or those that were misled.

Why say this? Why now? Why spoil the moment? These are legitimate questions. But you know what I have said above is nothing but the plain truth. It is sad and disgusting but it is true.  Don’t listen to the rubbish about “Jigna serawaitna ab Forto” that you read on the websites and the garbage that you hear on the radio stations by those who are trying to reinvent truth by reengineering the facts in order to fit what they wish Eritrea actually is. But you know what would happen if wishes were horses! Don’t get me wrong but how was it that all the analysts written or spoken did not miss a single question unanswered except one that was never asked: why did the tanks that rolled towards Forto attract this guy and not that one? Why did the arrests cover these people and not those? Why does every unfortunate accident of the regime reach these and not those? You may say it is random – but random is the guy on whose head a piece of rock that you throw from the top of a mountain blindfolded would fall among an army congregated underneath in no particular order. If every time you throw the rock it is landing on the same head, then one of two things is happening: either your rock is aiming at that particular head (because it is loaded) or that specific head is moving more than it should (because it is nuts).

You understand why the PFDJ is a loaded (deliberate) dictatorship with a purpose? It is not some crazy soldier who organized a coup d’état out of the blue and found himself a nation. It is a well planned and badly executed project, whose whole philosophy is the product of a culture of land-grabbers. There is no way in hell you can get around it and in short-cuts. Wencho-integelbeTkayo-wencho! The reason almost a whole ethnic group boycotted the Eritrean opposition and walked out on it, was because the opposition became dominated by Muslims and non-Muslim Muslims. They decided on change from within and said “ngelbTa” and here was “wencho” turned upside down.  Sooner or later they will have to face their demons and the sooner the better. My point is simple: don’t bother about what they might think. It is your fight.

About Ali Salim

Check Also

The ELL: Context And Method

Disclaimer: Say you are telling a friend in Adi-Qontsi about an argument you had with …

  • Testing… could u pls pull it out.

  • was it the trumba?;-)

  • dear my brother mihretu habte how are you doing this is your young brother way back from uganda and vancouver


    Sorry Awate staff,

    Disregard the duplicated comment was a “super human” error…ha..ha..ha


    …Fiseha ,

    Thanks for the compliment of labelling me Woyane ,I feel honored & although in the 90s I was skeptical about Woyane´s ethnic based administration ,Now ,I am proud to say I am sure that is the best way for Eritrea too ,with some modification to the article “up to seccession”.
    Trust me, if I wanted to divide Eritreans I would have been PFDJ or the opposition ..that most of it´s problem has to do with unresolved regionalism.
    But I have been saying it for ages ,Eritrean problem is regionalism , not so much religion ..Because ,Eritrean moslems have been putting up with our bull…p & they still do .Eritrean moslems for the sake of fake unity ..still put up with our c**p.
    And about my opinion being reflective of woyanes politics ,,hhhh ,…to my surprise it was a bigger “WOYANE” than me ,an ex combatant of EPLF ,my uncle (TESFAY TEMNEWO)that said it unequivocally “IF HAMASIEN & AKELEGUZAY WERE TO TRUST & CO-OPERATE EACH OTHER ,THEY WOULD HAVE REMOVED 1000 ISAIAS, LONG TIME AGO ;LET ALONE THIS ISAIAS.”I guess it is in our(Dimbezan) DNA to be fair & straight forward, not to mention super brilliant !!!!!!.እውይ ይቕሬታ ወገንነት ዶ ፈጺመ ? ወረዳይ ብምንኣድ፧ ይቕሬታ,……. ወዲ ባርካ፣ኩናማ፣ዓፋር፣ትግረ ከም ድላዩ ስምዒት ቀቢልኡን ወገኑን ብኹርዓት ክገልጽ ቅቡል እዩ።¨ህዝበ ትግርኛ ከምዚ ኸማይ ግን ??? ክሐፍረሉ እዩ ዝግባእ።ይቕሬታ ኣሕዋተይ ዓደይ ብምግላጸይ፣እንቋዕ ጥራይ ኣደይ ጉሕጭዓ ሰራየ፣ዓባየ ድማ ካብ ዓድዋ ምዃና ጥራይ ኣይገለጽኩ።ክንዲ ዝሓፍረሉስ ኮሪዔሉ።ቀደም ዝተረፈ ፣……ወገንነት ማለት እኮ ወዲ ሰራየ ሰረወታይ እየ እንድሕር ኢሉ፣ኣከለጉዘታይ ፣ሓማሴናይ´ውን ኣውራጃዊን ወረዳውን ዓዳውን መንነቶም ብኹርዕት እንተ ገሊጾም እዩ።….ድሓር ካብኡ ሰጊርና ትግራውነትና ክንኣምን እሞ, ሕቶ ሃገራውነት ኤርትራ ኣብ ሕቶ ክኣቱ እዩ ማለትዩ።እውይ ኣነ ስጋ ማማ_……… ወራዳ ኣለ ጎንደሬ፣ኩራት የሌለው ህዝብ ¨ዶሮን ሲያታልልዋት በካላሽን ጣልዋት ኣለ ኣማራ¨።ይቕሬታ በቲ ኣቦታትና ዝፈጠርዎ ቋንቋ ¨ጸላኢ¨ ጌረዶ ሓሳባተይ ገሊጸ።እውይ ኤርትራውነተይ ክሕደግየ።ባቄላ ቀረ…… So,Fiseha ,if you do not understand ,I will explain more ,but ,please explain which part of my aknowledgement of the wrongs done to my Akeleguzai countrymen you think is poisonous & meant to divide…because ,i have shown my solidarity with all Eritrean people..Akeleguzai are not the only ones that are victims ..but ,I know how to be singled out..because ,.I was singled out by Akeleguzai diasporans myself…But ,comnpared to what happened ,to these beautiful region in my name ,what happened to me i9s a joke ,painful yet incomparable ,one is crime commited in my name ..the other is abad character dominating the Akeleguzai diasporans..I am not emotionally part of it.AND A BIG PART OF THE BLAME GOES TO THE AKELEGUZAI DIASPORANS ,FOR NOT SPEAKING IT OUT WITH THE REST OF US.Because ,we are GWANOT/NON RELATIVES ..but ,I leave that to them..people do not trust them because they also do not trust others .(off course this does not generalize ,but we can not hide the pink Elephant in the living room ,if we want real solution .
    Well compare that with being sent to hijum with few people or defective weapon..because you could be ¨wanting¨ power that solely belonged/belongs to Hamasenites….Look ,I have no time for this.I have said my sincere solidarity,,,,people know me ..and you can take it anyway you want.I will not adress this anymore ..because TESFAY TEMNEWO has taken over…Me, while my heart was on the right please to bring regionalism to the top of the files approach to it was…ጽሉል ዓራቕስ ሻፎ የቐብል እዩ ኔሩ።Caso cerrado ,I am not obssesed with it .I leave it to TESFAYE TEMNEWO .


  • Araya

    I am convince if you guys talking about the same dictator Melles Zenaw, then you people must be half Tigryan like Wuqato, Yodita Aminaial etc. Melles left a big legacy that no one will ever beat him; he was a magnificent beggar that taught the rest of Africa the skill of vagrant. The good thing is gone and he will be remembered in addition of to his scrounger skills also add igniting a religious tension between christens and Ethiopian Muslims.
    now please let the man RIP. My god! You will tell me, how visionary he was when Ethiopia explodes in to religious massacre and ethic cleansing. Dedebotch

  • Beja Hizbu

    Wiqato, the resident Tigray woman of Awate.Com, has lost it completely and is posting her nonsense about Meles using different nicks.

    I have come to the conclusion that Papiloon, Yodita, Zegerma, Yigermal, TT are actually the same person, i.e, Wiqato, posting the same Weyane-centric garbage with the same writing style right down to the punctuation.

    Read those posts and you will come to the same conclusion.

    • Araya

      hmmmmmm, let me check it out. thanks for the head up. lol

  • Eri Eri

    I think you have not lived in Eritrea since independence, or you don’t know the Eritrean people and its problem. In Eritrea there is no a question of marginalization. Our problem is just because DIA is authoritarian put the whole people ( north to south, East to West ) under hard & fist rule.period. Under Isias , it is hard to think Hamasien, even Tselot got more advantage than other aditat in Akeleguzay, Seayae, or Barka, Semhar, or Sahel…etc. come to your mind guy ! It is hard to blame or accuse Isias like this.he doesn’t give his immideiate family, his relatives or Adi more advantage than others. Every Eritrean can witness that. I would advice you try to know the Eritrean people as a whole & its problem than to say I am opposition. Instead of inciting a sectarian stuff, try to think how the people get freedom from absolute dictatorship, ignorance, and hunger than to talk a baseless bla bla bla. About the Forto or some thing don’t think it is a muslim struggle only, more christians are arrested than mulsims in connection with that or G-15. When you come to independence struggle as well as border war , more christians were sacrified than muslims. But niether christians nor muslims of Eritrea raise that issue. We both have the same problem & opportunities & causes for struggle. By the way either you have to be a woyane or Higdef paid fake writer. Had you live in Eritrea like I did, you would witness the unity of Eritrean people. I had not witness even a single incident about the disunity of our people. And It is hard to blame for Isias in this case or marginalization issue. He oppress all peoples at the same level. But I don’t know why Woyane encourage identity politics ( i.e ethnic & religious parties ) to be in the fake Bayto. This is so that they could interfere in Eritrean problem & make Eritrean loose their unity. Instead of seeing that condition I would have endorse Isias to lead for his life time , like Castro. If you don’t know Isias , Eritrean people and the whole Eritrea, wake up , ask , read & observe on it before rushing to write your garbage narrow minded ideas. Don’t be an instrument of a secret woyane’s instrument. By the way I am a supporter of home grown opposition but not a fake diaspora nay “enda shahi” politicians who do not have any connection with back home people.

  • Serray

    Semere Tesfai,

    Then why did you spent so much ink destroying his “political challenge” in the past? It shows tremendous arrogance to call people who question ghedli unionists and those who make half of our abused population responsible for the sins of your former comrades voiceless.

    Our father sensed the likes of Ali Salim and Isaias and choose what they thought was the lesser of two evils; and we paid for that. Fast forward thirty years to 1993 and our people chose for your comrades thinking that nothing could be worse than our fathers’ choice but guess what, your comrades turned out to be more evil than satan himself.

    Make no mistake, generations to come will study what turned your comrades into pure evil. In that study, nothing will remain sacred including and specially ghedli; the movement that transformed unprincipled kids who didn’t understand the first thing about freedom into sadistic killers. There are no heroes in a vacuum. If you went through hell to bring me a poison, you are still a killer if you force me to drink it. You might still get goosebumps thinking shaebia brought us a nation but the rest of us are scratching our heads trying to figure out how one rapes to death the very idea he proclaims to liberate.

    I find it amazing that people like you, former tegadelti, get offended when people put ghedli under microscope. It is one thing for armchair philosophers to be offended; it is their maximum contribution to the cause. They are compensating for their conscious and deliberate absence in medda. You should know better than brand people unionist when they hold responsible those who took your blood, your sweat and your tears and turned them into tools of subjugation. Isaias didn’t learn to dispose of people he disagrees with in high school or in his one and only semester in college; he did in medda. Ghedli is were eritrea’s nightmare started; you know that beyond any shadow of doubt. Pretending now that it was only a source of heroes and bravery is a disservice to your sacrifice and the sacrifices of those who perished right in front of your eyes because they happened to stand on the right when the rest of you were floating in the air.

    Don’t get me wrong, I am with you when it comes to Ali Salim. He should freely say what is in his mind. Because of him I now understand why our fathers choose union with ethiopia.